Rebuild

People often talk about the friends you can count on in a crisis. The friends who will take care of you in difficult times. The friends who will show up hundreds of miles away just to be with you in your hour of need.

Unfortunately, last year I was put in a position to put my friends to the test. To find out just how wonderful my friends are.

Today is my birthday. Last year, as I prepared for my brother’s funeral, I came to realize that birthdays are about celebrating life. A birthday is an opportunity to be thankful for things you have in your life. It is a time set a side to turn to someone and say “thank you for being in my life.” We don’t tell people often enough that we love them.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my family and friends. To thank them for making me leave my apartment when I didn’t think I could. For sitting with me when I really couldn’t. For listening to me talk about Adam for hours on end. For wiping me tears and laughing with me when I didn’t think I could laugh.

I would never in a million years want to be in a situation where I had to see who would stand by my side. I didn’t have a choice in this, but thank you for standing by my side and reminding me of all the good in this world.

 

I want to share with you a poem Adam wrote when he was 10 or 11. Its been incredibly helpful to me in surviving this last year. When people say they don’t know if they’d be able to get out of bed in the morning, I often think about how I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I think about the times I don’t think I can move forward, but I tell them that I do it because of my brother. Knowing Adam, he would hate the idea of my life stopping because his did. So for him, I’m rebuilding. And this poem has reminded me that I need to.

Rebuild

by Adam London

When you build a wall, know that it will fall,

And when it does, do not cry, or begin to wonder why,

Pick up the pieces, and build it again.

Rebuild my friend, Rebuild.

God did it when he made the great flood,

Our forefathers did it, when they spilt their blood,

Rome did it, after being burnt to the ground,

Superman did it, in a single bound,

Because under the whole worlds weight, even a young man dies,

For all that you love, rebuilding applies.

And sometimes it gets hard to do,

And you wonder if you will ever pull through,

And, I guess sometimes life just isn’t fair,

I guess sometimes God just doesn’t care,

And the load becomes sole yours to bear,

Rebuild my friend, Rebuild.

Sometimes walls begin to weaken, and it becomes an obstacle,

But slowly you build it stronger, success is physiological.

And again it gets weak, life is volatile.

But every time it falls, you pick up the pieces,

And all of the pain you feel, it ceases.

They all say that if I have a problem I can’t flee,

But how am I supposed to stay, open your eyes and then you’ll see,

Sometimes there is no solution,

Sometimes life just revolves, a continuous revolution,

And while this isn’t always the apt way to answer,

Sometimes you got to just deal with the cancer,

There is nothing wrong with cleaning your slate,

So in the end, it is you who decided your fate.

Rebuild my friend, Rebuild.

Because under the whole worlds weight, even a young man dies,

For all that you love, rebuilding applies.

When you build a wall, know that it will fall,

And when it does, do not cry, or begin to wonder why,

Pick up the pieces, and build it again.

Rebuild my friend. Rebuild.

 

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